Book Synopsis
Tales From the Horny Panda by Tony W. Arnold
Behind a nondescript Cantonese takeout joint in the industrial backwater of Fort Cuellar, Florida, a secret door swings open every afternoon onto something impossible: a lush, forty-two-year-old Tiki bar that time and the tax man forgot.
Structured as sixteen boozy "cocktails" — one intoxicating chapter per drink — this genre-defying novel plunges you into a hidden dinner club thick with tropical foliage, South Pacific artifacts, faded rituals, and a cast of barflies, hustlers, and true believers who regard the place as holy Tiki ground. Part comic Southern gothic, part erotic fever dream, part loving elegy for a vanishing subculture of tiki obsessives and their sacred watering holes, Tony Arnold writes with a maximalist, whiskey-soaked prose style that piles on the sensory detail until the whole thing feels like a hallucination you don't want to wake up from.
It's raunchy. It's strange. It's unapologetically Southern. And once you step through that kitchen door, you won't want to leave.
For adult readers who like their fiction dark, funny, filthy, and gloriously overwritten.