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Box Truck Press on the Campaign Trail

Box Truck Press on the Campaign Trail cover image
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by: Christopher Ingraham
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Publication Date: March 23, 2016
Book Size: 5.5" x 8.5"
Pages: 54
Binding: Perfect Bound
Color: Black and White
$10.00

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Book Synopsis
Chuck Norris on Look-Out

Ted Cruz made it down to Florida in a hurry. It was March, and the heat was already starting to accumulate. “Was he more sensitive about these things?” He wondered. He had some business to attend to in the shadiest marina in Jacksonville.

He needed to find an old English lady in an orange sailing ship. He needed an edge. He needed to not look like John Kerry. He needed to stay sober.

He needed some of that stuff that Kerry couldn't get his hands on. He needed that Bush stuff- that pure, uncut Bush stuff. Little did Cruz know, Jeb was lurking.

Jeb had felt hard-done-by and had ultimately lost his fucking marbles. And that was why he had been ten days in the wild, swimming around like a gator chewing on fish. He was not coming back to society, like the Penguin, but he did recognize an old friend and wondered what his eyeballs tasted like.

Ted Cruz radioed Chuck Norris.
Cruz: “I don't see Brit broad anywhere.”
Norris: “Stay calm. I want you to stay calm. Sit down and look drunk. Try and blend in. You stand out more than Mr. Rodgers.”
Ted Cruz sneezed into the radio.
Norris: “And take your fucking allergy medicine.”

Ted Cruz did what he was asked, sat down on the dock, and thought back on his Sailor Jerry days.

Chuck snuck out to the mouth of the marina to see if there were any orange sail boats moseying in.

Jeb was crawling through the water like a silent maniac.

Ted was fingering an envelope of bills and a roll of quarters in his pocket. They were for the English lady.

The English lady changed course and was now on headed away from the shadiest marina in Jacksonville. She didn't much appreciate Chuck Norris, and she had told Ted to come alone.

Norris: “I’ve got bad news for ya kid.”
“Kid- I've got bad news for ya.”
“Hey kid. I've got bad news for ya.”
“Kid?”
“Kid?”
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